Healing from Past Relationships
Losing someone you love can be deeply disturbing and painful; the memories and feelings of abandonment and loneliness can last for a long time. Your family and friends will be concerned for you and may try to help, and although it’s appreciated, they probably won’t know what to do or say.
For example, people may mean well when they tell you that “It’s better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all,” but offering these platitudes won’t give you much practical advice for coping with your emotions.
What Are Some Healthy Steps I Can Take To Heal?
- Be realistic. No relationship is all bad, but none are perfect either. Suppose you glorify the relationship or continue to put your ex on a pedestal. In that case, it may help to remind yourself of their less-than-perfect attributes or times when the relationship didn’t work very well.
- Be kind to yourself. Chances are, you aren’t taking the best care of yourself while you’re grieving. Re-evaluate your physical and emotional needs and take appropriate steps to meet those needs. Do things you enjoy, eat healthy foods, exercise, listen to uplifting music – surround yourself with things that remind you to love yourself.
- Forgive. Forgiving someone for hurting you can be challenging; they may not “deserve” your forgiveness. The problem is that holding unforgiveness in your heart towards someone who has moved on will only hurt one person: YOU. Deciding to let go of past hurts and moving forward will lift a heavy burden off your heart and help you heal.
Should I Seek Professional Help In Healing From A Past Relationship?
Most of us – if not all of us! – will experience a broken relationship during our lifetime; some of us will go through more than one. A professional psychotherapist will have the skills and understanding needed to help you heal and move on.
- Your friends and family love you and want to help. However, there does come a time when they will feel that they can’t say any more or do anything else for you. Everyone needs someone to talk to, though, and you will find that your therapist will always be available to you whenever you need them.
- Your therapist will be objective and be able to help you see yourself in new ways. They are trained to pinpoint unhealthy behaviors and patterns in our lives, allowing us to see the part we play in our relationship issues.
- Your therapist will provide a supportive, patient, and non-judgmental space for you to work through your feelings. He will help you figure out whether there could still possibly be hope and, if so, how to repair your relationship. If not, they can help you grieve and do the emotional work of healing.
Here at John Nichols Psychotherapy, I am here to help you move on from past relationships and hurtful situations. Everyone deals with something; bravery comes in recognizing what that something is, and healing comes in asking for help.
I offer individual, couples, and teen therapy. I also offer a free 30-minute consultation before we start sessions. It’s essential for you to pick a therapist you are comfortable with. You’re going to be spending a lot of time with your therapist, so you need to be sure you get along with them and feel comfortable that they will be able to meet your needs.